Earlier today legendary golf icon Tiger Woods stood before his mother, friends, and a national audience to take ownership of his moral failures and the difficult work ahead to rebuild his marriage and reputation. Only time and deeds will prove the authenticity of his confession and commitments.
Since his adulterous affairs became public news and tabloid fodder last Thanksgiving I have heard comments such as, "he is done", "Elin should never
take him back", and "he can never show his face in public again!" I suspect these same people who now disparage Tiger's name and reputation are the same
ones who mere months ago spoke of him and his game with utter reverance.
We Americans can be very tough on our leaders, heroes, and celebrities! This should not shock any of us for most of us are also very tough on ourselves.
We breathe out the same stuff we have breathed in! We condemn the failures of others, sentencing them to a life of hardship and penance to redeem
themselves. They must "sleep in the bed they made", we reason. "They deserve this punishment, they have earned it." We have all sowed into and nurtured a graceless society! Recently, the News Observer reported: “Pope John Paul II whipped himself with a belt, even on vacation, and slept on the floor as acts of penitence and to bring him closer to Christian perfection…” The Pope, Tiger, and the rest of us limp along with soul fatigue. We endlessy pursue our quest for perfection on the performance treadmill. Deep within, we are tired, discouraged, and insecure people, yet we mask our limp well.
Recently I asked a client in my coaching practice how often did he drive home from work feeling satisfied with his performance that day. He responded with plain honesty, "Chip, I have NEVER experienced this feeling!" He went on to say that his career is a never ending quest to reach perfection, to be more productive, to get everything right in his company. The fruit of this never ending drive for perfection included self hatred, criticising others, and a serious lack of joy. Gracelessness steals our joy, depletes our passion, and ultimately destroys our relationships.
I asked the client what he knew about a short five letter word..."Grace!?!" He responded, "What is grace?" What is Grace!?! Let's take a shot at the question. Grace means your external performance does not determine your internal identity; that failure does not determine your future; that you are loved apart from what you do or don't do. Grace means you are quick to forgive and help others who have fallen for you yourself are ever mindful that you too need forgiveness and are just a step away from falling yourself. Grace does not count or keep track of the faults of others; grace does not keep score; grace gives and receives "free lunches". And grace allows for and even helps others to succeed, to move beyond our own place or position.
It has been encouraging to see this client both embrace and extend grace to others. He is fast becoming an inspired, inspiring, and freed up leader. The energy and confidence gained through grace in both his personal and professional worlds is remarkable. The Englishman John Newton got it right, "Amazing Grace, how Sweet the Sound!"
Leadership Qs to Ponder:
How do you define "grace"? How has Grace defined you? How would others assess your grace-ability?
How do you as a leader create a high performance culture that at the same time values grace? Do your employees believe that they have worth apart from their works, that they are first persons, then performers?
Finally, do you rest in and lean on grace for your own career and calling? Do you know that you are loved apart from what you do, loved despite your past, present, and future failures?
We all need grace. We are all "Tigers" in hiding, waiting, hoping for a grace place within a grace community!
"The good man falls seven times, but keeps getting back up." --Proberbs 24:16